I wrote and posted this article in 2015 and want to bring it back out of the archives, because I believe we really need it.
I’m no salesperson even though I have sold many people on my opinion about numerous things in life. In spite of my love for all things shiny, exciting, transformational and yummy, I am really uncomfortable in sales situations. So I am not here to sell you something but I am here to tell you something.
Everyone wants to be happy and have a good life, whatever that means for you personally. It shows up as more money, more time, more freedom, more things, more fun, more peace or more love. Whether you desire all or one, each are tied to one inescapable common denominator and that is Relationships.
Even if you live alone, work alone and play alone (which is highly unlikely), YOU still are in relationship with YOU. For the rest of us, whether at work, home or out and about in the world, we are constantly in relationship with someone.
Relationships are important. Relationships cause Conflicts.
Conflicts in Families
I grew up in a family that came together regularly at my grandmother’s small and loving apartment to spend time together and eat. My dad’s five sisters came to these events to practice their favorite sport… Conflict. Name-calling, yelling, threatening and cursing, they gold-medaled in all of it.
Conflicts at Work
I ran in to a former supervisor of mine from my very early work days. At the time she was a boss who terrorized her staff with bullying, threats and power plays like scrutinizing our work while making vicious comments about our character and our work performance. Seeing her again after so many decades, I could only ask “was it the cocaine or were you actually just a horrible person?” (I had discovered her drug habit inadvertently in the women’s bathroom at an office party right before I quit.)
Conflicts with YOU
I used to stand in the mirror and berate myself. I was unhappy with so many things about me. I wasn’t thin enough, smart enough, savvy enough or successful enough. I wasn’t Enough.
What All These People Have In Common
Through time and conversation, I have concluded one thing about each of these situations. We were all seeking real relationships, but we just didn’t know how to do it. In fact, we were pretty bad at it. Our tools were hurt feelings, bad habits, old wounds and poor role models.
So, I finish where I started by saying I am no salesperson, but I am here to tell you something. Four of my aunts left this earth never having fulfilled their desire to have real relationships with each other. My former boss is still struggling to be the kind of supervisor that encourages support and productivity. I am on my continued journey of finding out all of who I am and loving the relationship I have with me.
I’m here to tell you that learning how to engage in conflicts more deeply and successfully will help you fulfill the one thing that can change everything in your life, deeper relationship with yourself and others.
If you are genuinely seeking to strengthen yourself and your work in the world by Doing Something About The Conflicts In Your Life, then let’s talk.
Schedule your complimentary 30-minute Session with me HERE.