Staying open during difficult times
Not one more thing. You can’t take one more thing. The world is coming apart at the seams right in front of your eyes and everybody wants something from you right now.
Is that how things are going on in your world? It is in mine. Conflict resolution work is about relationships and relationships must involve the heart if they are to be built, nurtured, and maintained.
I can hear the wheels turning… Well, maybe I don’t need this relationship. Chances are that is a reaction rather than a response and I’m not letting you go down that road.
Most of us are hurting right now and some of you don’t even know how much except for that one sign, your heart is starting to close.
People are so unpredictable, No, wait. People are so predictable, they’re mean. Yeah, let it out. People are making it hard to stay open.
What is it that people really want? No. Seriously.
People want to be heard, listened to, and valued. You can’t listen to one more thing, and yet you have to if we are going to move forward and not stay stuck in the danger of your heart closing. Listen to one more.
Give Grace. Oh, my goodness, we are hard on each other. Give grace folks, even if it is something you would have never done, they did it and it was a mistake. We are all here to make them, even you, so let’s open the door wide enough for grace to fit through. Think about how much grace you would want to receive. Yeah, open it that wide.
Accountability is not revenge. Holding someone accountable for their actions needs to make sense. Conversations go down easier than lectures. Yes, you have to be clear about what behaviors you are asking them to own but adding on a tone laced in spite and criticism will only swing the heart door closed, there’s no room for forgiveness when you do that.
Yeah, you had to know it was coming. Forgiveness seems to be the hardest thing for most people. You know you need to forgive in order to free yourself from thinking about this regularly. You can ask for an apology if that is important to you. Whether you receive one or not, you have to deal with releasing the need for one in order to move on clean, without this on your plate.
What is your why? When I get to the end of the road in some situations and I am focusing specifically on keeping my heart open, I go back to my Why for this work. Why do I even want to keep my heart open?
Because of the stories and the journey is incredible!!!
Conversations are our life bread. We need them to survive. That means bringing our whole self to each conversation and doing everything we can to keep our hearts open. I’m holding the door open for you.