How ya’ll doin’?
Yeah, that’s the lane I’m in. I’m just hair down, no code-switching (you gonna have to ask somebody if you don’t know what that means), just plain me right now.
I am shifting between swimming, treading and every now and then going under and coming back up again. But the good part is that I am present for most of it. Yes, there are times when I find myself pacing or walking in circles and drifting off to some other time that was better, but I am able to laugh and pull myself back from that.
I have dissolved into tears, tuned out by watching comedies, worried that my COVID-19 test will come back positive, nursed some gastro-intestinal issues that seem to want to hang on, screamed and collapsed into exhaustion.
I have also had long heartfelt talks with my soon to be 19 year old son, laughed on the phone with my sister, Zoom visited with my cousin, read, meditated, prayed, danced, worked out and continued coaching clients.
And I have to say… I am not okay. And I am okay saying that because that keeps me honest and in my lane.
All around me I see people at all different stages in their lives and businesses and I observe myself observing them. My heart soars at my friends and colleagues who are live broadcasting and posting every day, I want to join them, but I cannot travel in that lane yet.
I do a gut check every time I set a goal and then choose to grieve or rest instead, I recognize that goal was not in my lane today. I push myself to stay away from checking the news too often because then I descend into extreme sadness and pain and that too is not my lane.
I tune in to the things that make me happy and look every day for signs of hope while balancing the real need to take good care of me. I recognized that I was working too hard not to be afraid and decided to let fear in every now and then just to feel it and let it go. These are in my lane.
And by the way, my gastro-intestinal issues are making me MAD cause this is one hungry woman right now. I just had to laugh at that.
This is what staying in my lane looks like right now.
How about you?
Are you belly breathing regularly?
Are you checking in with yourself every day or whenever you remember to?
Are you feeling your emotions without apology?
Are you telling the truth to yourself and others about just how you are doing?
Are you reaching out for help when you need it?
Are you loving yourself enough to keep to yourself when you need to?
Are you speaking kind words to yourself?
This is not a race but there are still lanes and staying in our lane allows us to travel at our own pace, face obstacles and changes in our own way and end up at the finish line in our own time.