Just be quiet!!!!!!
You know me, I am always advocating for good deep conversation. But right now, there is just too much noise!!!
Some of us just need to stop talking and BE QUIET.
And while we are being quiet, we need to use the Power Of Silence. Oh yes, I have taught on this before and right now seems to be a good time to get us all to hush up during some of these great conversations.
The power of silence was one of the first things I was introduced to when I was studying other cultures and mediation.
Silence is an active process when you use it intentionally, though it is often mistaken for passivity.
Using silence well allows you to manage your emotions, it can bring clarity, understanding and potential solutions. But it ain’t easy ya’ll, especially when you did not grow up like that.
Ohhh, but if you can take this on, it will change your conversations. I mean, for real!
But first, we need to unlearn a few things that using the power of silence is not.
- It is not the silent treatment. No, we don’t use it to punish or ignore.
- It is not refusing to say anything. That’s a process that shuts down communication.
- It is not letting the person talk all they want and get their way. No, we don’t use this power to just get this conversation over with.
The strategic use of silence is powerful because you know its purpose. You are using it to further the conversation.
The First Power of Silence move is to decide that you really need to listen more to gain a deeper understanding. So, tune in and silence the thoughts in your head that are just screaming for you to GET IN THERE AND MAKE YOUR POINTS ALREADY! SHUT THEM DOWN!
Power of Silence Move Two is to really take it in. It may seem uncomfortable at first because we are so uncomfortable with even seconds of silence, we always must fill the space, but don’t. Check out what happens when you don’t fill the space quickly. Absorb, think and then work to gain clarity before you speak.
Power of Silence Move Three is to speak and share that you want to understand so you are using silence to try to do that. When you think you are ready to break the silence, do that with a question to them to gain just a little deeper understanding of their feelings, thoughts, motivations, and potential solutions.
Power of Silence Move Four is checking yourself and your emotions and see how they are wanting you to respond. Here’s where you use silence to understand yourself. What is coming up for me and what is motivating it? Is this the best way to say it? Will this move the conversation further forward? How do I express my emotions in the best way for the good and the real to come out of this?
These power moves have been working well for me and I want to keep on practicing and getting better at it. Hey, I am still a talker, but I love silence, and I need a lot more of it these days because I am engaging even more.
It allows me to grow.
Are you growing with me?
Then please be quiet sometimes and use the Power Of Silence to allow you to discern some of the B.S. that these folks are puttin’ down. So you can raise your voice when we need you to!
In Love,
Dr. Lynne
