Do You Need a Flood Pressure Check?

I have learned a lot about patience from my youngest son much more out of necessity than desire. Until this became a mandatory assignment for my need to parent him in a way that would help him love himself, I embraced, loved and committed myself to my impatience. I was famous for giving him a directive, really an order, “Put that cup in the sink and throw your garbage away now. Now please. Put it away now. Do it now!” All of this was delivered in about 3 seconds in which time I expected him to jump up immediately and… Get It Done!

He on the other hand, operating in a very different rhythm, did not take to the instructions right away. He would sit there and finish doing what he was doing, taking his time to do what I demanded him to do. Well, in the perfecting of my patience, I had about a two second rebound time and then I would be back to issuing the directive. Only this time, upping the ante. “I just told you to get it done or you won’t get to play any video games any time soon.” There’s that famous phrase, “anytime soon.” Well, what does that mean? Today, tomorrow, next week, right now? It didn’t matter. I was on automatic. That phrase was implanted in me to spill out whenever the stressful moment called for impatience. And in my book, this situation qualified.

I should know. My mother was impatient and according to her this amounted to disrespect and defiance… those two major sins would not be tolerated. My mother was impatient with me and I gave into it. However, my son began to lose himself under the weight of my impatience. So, I chose something different.

“You have to acknowledge your feelings and get curious about the story/stories behind them, then you can challenge those confabulations and get to the truth.” – Brene Brown

Brene Brown, author and shame researcher really spoke to me with this quote. I had to look at why such strong feelings came up for me when he was being what I labeled as “slow.”

That’s where Flood Pressure Checks came in. Have you ever reacted to a situation and wondered where on earth did that come from? Have you ever tried to hold back a reaction and it just seemed impossible to stop yourself? The definition of flood is “to overwhelm with something” and pressure is defined as “a constraining or compelling force or influence.” When I speak of Flood Pressure (a term I coined), I am talking about having emotions, habits or subconscious reactions surface and exert so much influence on you that you are not acting from a space of knowing who you really are and what you think and feel is best, but rather you are handling the situation as someone else (your mother, father, guardians, keepers of the culture, friends).

In order to arrest this behavior, you will need to conduct your own Flood Pressure Checks regularly.

Next time, I will give you the formula and a few solutions for lowering your Flood Pressure. In the meantime, tune in the next time you are engaged in a conflict. Are you being yourself or do you need a Flood Pressure Check?

In the meantime, join me at my FREE webinar, 5 Things You Should Never Do If You Want Your Kids to Listen to You.